you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
