You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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