This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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