When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
