I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
