i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
