What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
