last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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