But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
No stitches, just platelets and will power
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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