My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
