yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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