Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
