I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
