Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
