and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
