There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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