is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
