If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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