Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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