New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
