so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
