Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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