I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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