Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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