i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
