Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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