gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize