I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Randomize