you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
