stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
