Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
