I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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