hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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