I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
