Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
