it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
whose ass print is on the piano?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
