She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
