Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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