She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
