Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
