I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
