so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize