That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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