During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
