no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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