Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My breasts were aching with rage.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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