Moan for me like Helen Keller
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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