i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
