the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
