Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
