Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
