It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Welp...herpes.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
