do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
