It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
