watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
