Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
