I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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