update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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