No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
