He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Let's get the cat blown out
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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