She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
