I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The cops high fived after they tackled you
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
