Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I love having hate sex.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
